Today is NOT a good day...dammit!

Lil Taz finished "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" this weekend and was SO proud of herself for doing it. Let me tell ya, for an 8 year old that is quite an accomplishment. We are all proud of her too and have told her so. Her school has a program called AR (Accelerated Reading) which means they read certain books, take a test on them and get points. The more advanced the books the more points they receive. This book is on the 5.7 grade level (she's in 3rd grade). Anyhoo...She called me a few minutes ago VERY upset. She took the test today and made a 60 on it. Which isn't too bad, I don't think, especially for a book that's so hard. Well...she received 0 points. ZERO! The book was worth 12 points IF you get a 100 on the test. Common sense would tell you that if you got a 50 you should get at LEAST 6 points but NO...she got a 60 and ZER-FUCKING-O points! Man am I livid! My child read for hours and hours and received NO reward in reading class for doing so and now she feels like a failure. This is totally absurd! She tries SO damned hard to excell and this shit happens.
First off, she's the one that wanted to read the book and I supported her. Now I feel like I've fucked up and pushed her too hard because I made her read a few pages every night. How in the hell can an 8 year old kid remember everything that happened in a 300+ page book? I should have known better and told her to wait and try to read it when she was older. Now I'm afraid that this episode has damaged her self-esteem and I feel like I've failed her in some way. She was so pitiful on the phone...I wanted to hold her and cry. I understand that everything isn't going to be hunky-dory all the time but dammit! Why did it have to happen to her when she was so jazzed about reading?
I asked her if she'd like me to write a note to her reading teacher and tell them what I think about their computerized AR scoring but she said "No Mom, you might get in trouble" What the fuck are they going to do? Put me in AR jail? ZERO points...what a crock of shit!
Oh after she calmed down some she said..."Mom, Santa is real isn't he? My friends say he's fake like the Tooth Fairy and were laughing because I still believe in him." What a fuckin' day! I calmly told her that St. Nick was a real person who gave toys to children because they loved him. What in the hell was I supposed to say? I've always said that I will be honest with her but dammit this is a HUGE part of the innocence of childhood and pffft on those kids that told her he wasn't real. How DARE they steal that part from her. I still remember the kid's name that told me when I was in 1st grade and how broken-hearted I was on that day.
I've tried to call Mr. Taz and both lines are busy. WTF? I have no idea how I'm going to handle this when I get home....wish me luck

ETA: I got hold of Mr. Taz...he says I should contact the teacher about the AR deal. Zero points is very unfair.
Here's what he told her about Santa.
"You are smart, considerate and beautiful...follow your heart and believe in him if that's what you feel."
Sometimes he can be a really great guy.

Rainy Mondays...
SUCK!
It's raining outside and cold. I was planning on going deer hunting this weekend since I have 4 days off but now I don't know if I'll be able to go. Ya See...I'm pretty sure I'm getting a cold. I've 'worked' on this cold for a week now and I think it's finally here. Fever, watery eyes, alternating chills and burning up, my head feels like it weighs 100#'s and my throat feels like someone is rubbing it with 40 grit sandpaper everytime I swallow. Not that I know exactly what that feels like but you catch my drift. Coffee doesn't help, Diet Dr. Pepper doesn't help and I'm eating Halls® honey-lemon cough drops like M&M's. I can't wait to go home, take some Nyquil, put on my flannel jammies, crawl into my bed and cover up my head.

My kid is so damn cool...
Today Lil Taz, her Aunt Candy and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie. I had already looked at mom/dad review pages to see why the PG-13 rating so I knew that a character bit the dust. I'm trying to be cool here because I could end up crying AGAIN. I haven't read the books but Candy has so I tried to get info out of her on the way to the theater. She's like a freakin' vault I tell ya but with as much shit as she knows on me I ain't gonna bitch about it...too much. :o) I was afraid that one of my fave characters died but there was no way I would find out before it happened so I finally gave up. C dropped me off at the garage to pick up my SUV and she and Lil Taz headed to the theater. When I got there I couldn't believe it....the ticket line was way and I'm talking WAYYYYY out in the parking lot. No worries for us...we bought our tickets LAST NIGHT! HA!!!!! Once inside I got in line with Lil Taz and C for popcorn and cokes. The lines weren't moving very fast so I was sent in ahead to find 'good seats'. With as many peeps as there was there, I figured any 3 seats I could find together would be 'good seats'. When I walked in I was surprised, most of the HP fans were standing in line for popcorn. :o) I found 3 'REALLY good seats' and staked my claim on them. (No I didn't pee on the chairlegs...I did the coat in the seat trick)
While I was waiting on my sweetness, love of my life, ornery child and her beloved Aunt Candy I had to suffered thru the chick in front of me yakking on her cellphone, the weird-ass teens beside me talking some strange Harry Potter shit that I knew nothing about (since I haven't read the books, I'm evidently out of the loop) I didn't think C and Lil Taz would ever walk around the corner with my caffiene but they did. As soon as they got settled the lights dimmed and the endless previews started. I don't wear a watch so I had no idea how long the attempted brainwashing lasted.
Finally the movie started...
It was beyond awesome. The storyline was fascinating, the characters older but familiar and the special effects were un-freakin'-believable. As much as I enjoyed this movie it's hard to believe that I was tricked, conned and pretty much dragged into my first HP movie years ago.
OK...back to why my kid is so damn cool...when the character died, the theater got really dusty and I shed some tears. Lil Taz was sitting beside me, her head on my shoulder and my head resting on hers. (By this time, the popcorn was history) I lifted my head to wipe a tear but she beat me to it...how cool is that?

ETA: When I got home the phone rang...it was C.
"Ang, (insert my fave character's name here) doesn't die."

Things that are Awesome and Things that Suck
Awesome Things... (in no particular order)
Lil Taz
Family
Friends
Having a job you love
Hunting
Lil Taz saying "I love you" first
Movie nights with Lil Taz
The Annual Chick Trip
Unsweet Tea
Drinking coffee on the front porch
"Me" time
Listening to what I want on the radio
AC/DC "Girls Got Rhythm"
The Nuge
NASCAR, especially when Harvick is kicking ass...which hasn't been often this year
Summer nights
Reading a good book
Puppy Taz
The smell of leather, fresh cut hay and horses
Cuban sandwiches
Laying out in the sun
Baitbuckets
Text Messages and IM's
Racing Stalkers
Cigars
"The Godfather"
Seeing a good friend that I only see once a year (the once a year part sucks)
"My Name is Earl"
Pizza with the works
Being secure with being me and putting on no fake airs about it

Things that Suck...
Cold weather
Mean people
Puter crashes
Missing a deer/turkey
Saying "see you later" to Lil Taz when I leave the house. (After 8 years it's still a hard thing to do)
Being sick
Spiders
Traffic
Not being busy
Harvick having a bad day at the track

There's more but I won't bore you with them

I just don't get it...
Why do bad things happen to nice people? There's plenty of bad people in this world why not lay all the bad stuff on them?
There's a racing board that I go to...alot and one of the 'family' has found out that he has to have bypass surgery this week. He's a super guy who knows quite a bit about racing. He's witty, funny and an all around nice person. Evidently he was just crusing around in life and whammo...this came up. He's only 37 (wake up call to myself...TML is a year YOUNGER than I am) and is expecting his second child in a matter of weeks. I have read his blog for quite some time so I feel like I'm closer to him and his family than I really am. I'll tell my family about things that has happened to his family just like I know them. Lil Taz refers to his daughter as "the girl that talks to her lil sister thru her mom's belly-button".
He found out that his by-pass can be done with a robot which is pretty cool and his down-time will be cut down tremendously from what I understand.
I guess I'm typing this because, even tho I'm pretty sure God doesn't read blogs, it will make help my prayer go thru and maybe if someone just happens along and reads this they will add TML to their prayers too. So please, if you're reading this say an extra prayer for my friend. The world really is a better place with him here.

The Annual Chick Trip
Mr. Taz has gone on hunting trips out of state as long as I can remember. While he was gone my friend Candy and I would go riding around, out to eat or to the movies. In 1999 that all changed. I figured if he could leave state for a few days so could I. While he was making his plans to go to CO that September I called Candy and asked her if she'd like to go to FL for a few days. She was more than thrilled. We only had a few months to plan but we got everything taken care of easily.
The flight down was the first time that she had been on an airplane. I had only flown twice before and that was with Mr. Taz to Cancun and back on our honeymoon. When we landed in FL it was like I was actually free for the first time in my life. No parents, no Mr. Taz...just Candy and I. We drove to our hotel, if you want to call it that, and checked in. When we walked in the room the first thing I noticed is that there was no phone....there were fireants but no phone. The windows didn't close all the way either...that was OK we were on VACATION! We went put on our swimsuits and headed out to the pool....what pool? OK, there was NO phone and NO pool??? They've got to be kidding. So being the 2 adaptable people that we are, we headed to the beach. Once we got on the beach we quickly discovered what red tide was and what it looked like. Too bad puter screens don't allow for 'scratch n sniff', I think everyone should know what red tide smells like. Let's see... no phone, fireants, no pool AND red tide. Hell we were on vacation everything was going to be OK.
That night we went to a tiki-bar and found out that it IS possible to have too much fun. We got there around 8ish and I discovered a drink called a Baitbucket, basically it's a smurf blue high-power margarita. The limit is supposed to be 2 but thru some eyebatting I conned the bartender into serving me 1 more. What I didn't realize is that by drinking Baitbuckets you end up with a smurf blue tongue and Bill the Cat eyes. I had to go all the way around the building to go to the restroom, which I did OK, the problems started (or so Candy says) when I tried to make it back to our table. She described it as watching a pinball bounce between bumpers. It wasn't long until Candy decided WE were ready to go back to the hotel. I don't remember any of this so I have to go by what she says happened. (I think she made it alot worse than it really was) Walking thru the parking lot I bitched about so many red cars being in the lot. I even tried to get into a car that wasn't ours, it belonged to the people that were standing next to it. Once in the car she started laughing...why? Well some of it was left over laughing from the wrong car incident but mostly she was laughing because it was only 9 o'clock. How did I get THAT bad off in ONE hour? She finally got my drunkass back into the hotel room and ready for bed. She tucked me in, I laid there dozing for a few minutes then I jumped up and ran/stumbled/fell into the bathroom. I've never been so sick in all my life. But I do have to say she took great care of me (even had my toothbrush ready) and I felt much better once it was over.
The next day we went jetski riding in the gulf. That was a blast...even with a wicked hangover. All in all we had the best vacation ever.
Every year we go to the same place and have an awesome time together. We even hit the Tiki-bar but we now limit ourselves to two drinks. We've 'suffered' thru 7 trips now and every year there seems to be something new to overcome. In 2001 we flew just a week after 9/11 and the flight down was pretty scary but we made it. I fell UP the escalator before we even left Tennessee one year and I drove the wrong way up the main drag another. There's been red tide almost every year but we now stay at a REAL hotel that even has a pool. We were there during a hurricane one year but it wasn't a bad one. Candy flashed a guy last year and I think he liked it because he sure was nice to her the next few days and he was there this year 2 days before we left coming back home. It must be love :o)
We have met so many great people there and stay in touch with quite a few of them. The manager at our hotel adores us, no kidding, and looks forward to seeing us each year. I think that's because we're so entertaining.

Halloween at the Taz's
This Halloween Lil Taz decided that she was too big to go trick or treating instead she wanted to dress up and give out candy. She wanted the wig because it was cool, atho she told me that I "didn't need one because your hair is already dark with silver streaks" Truth hurts I tell ya.

By the way, in case you can't tell, Lil Taz is a "Redneck Zombie Vampire" (notice the Hank Jr. concert Tee) This no trick or treating idea lasted maybe 10 minutes or until she found out that our neighbor across the street was handing out 'the good stuff' by the handful because his wife is on a diet and he HAS to get rid of the 4 bags of candy he bought. So we visited a few neighbors and then settled into the candy giving out mode. We don't have many trick or treaters in our neighborhood so we were finished by 8:00.
I remember when I was growing up how much fun Halloween was. We would dress up in homemade thrown together costumes, grab our trusty pillowcase (treat bag) and head out on safari. There was a curve in the road with a steep bank covered in kudzu on one side of it. The streetlight there was always out and we'd hide just below the sidewalk and wait. When unsuspecting kids would walk by we'd scare the devil out of the them and grab the dropped candy. We'd all go home pretty early with our pirate's stash of stolen candy. I don't think our parents ever figured out how we got that much candy in that little of time. Man that'd piss me off if someone were to do that to Lil Taz.

Field Trip Day
Today I went on a field trip with Lil Taz's 3rd grade class. She goes to the same elementary school that I went to so everytime I walk in it's like deja voo-doo (I can't help myself I always change it to voo-doo) A few things I noticed is that the ceilings look to be alot lower now and that the toilets are way too close to the ground. I'm talking knees to the chest low. The water fountains are also very low. Forget trying to sit at the desks your knees will bang against the bottom of the writing surface.
OK back to the field trip....
We went to a "Living Museum" which means there's lots of cool stuff that is spread out over 18 acres and you can't touch a damn thing. The kids are studying how pioneers lived so the museum had that kind of stuff. All the parents were handed a brochure (that didn't tell squat) with a map on it so we could cross off each building as we saw it. After us parents received our 'kids' (4 of 'em) we all split up. "My" kids weren't really interested until we made it to the outhouses. Let me tell ya, if you want to get 3rd graders attention mention anything that has to do with a bathroom. The kids then proceeded to amuse themselves telling bathroom jokes and making disgusting bodily function sounds. Lil Taz knew better than to do that shit (no pun intended) with mom there but you could tell she wanted to sooooooo bad.
Once I got "My" kids pried away from the outhouses we made it around the rest of the museum. The problem was the kids wanted to rush thru it and I was there to teach them all I knew...which wasn't alot. You'd be surprised tho at how the kids started picking up on stuff and figuring out uses for the tools that were displayed. We actually had a really good time together. After lunch the kids were all wired, the parents were all tired so the teachers took over. One thing I didn't like at all about lunch was that the kids had to bring a bag lunch while the teachers and parents could buy a nice hot lunch complete with a kickass dessert. That wasn't very cool I didn't think so I eat a cold pb & j sandwich along with the kids.
All in all we learned alot of stuff. The kids learned a few things about how the pioneers lived and I learned that I will Never.Ever. EVER ride on a bus that's full of 3rd graders again.

Dear DVD Release Date Peeps,
Why do you have to schedule release dates for dvds so damned close together? Are you trying to kill us parents? Star Wars Episode III was released today, next tuesday is Willy Wonka and the next tuesday Madagascar is being released or vice versa. I'm not exactly sure what order the last two are but I know for a fact Lil Taz does. The movie release date peeps scheduled too many cool kid movies within 1 week of each other this summer (SW III, Fantastic 4, Wonka, Sky High and Madagascar) and now you're doing it to us. Have you ever tried to explain to an 8 year old WHY they can't have a certain movie because it's getting close to Christmas? Evidently not or you would have planned this out better. I understand that these dvds are good Christmas presents but dang could you not have made the release dates in December???
I don't want to tell Lil Taz that Santa might bring them because I'd have to come up with some story about how he has a Walmart full of dvds close to the North Pole. Does Lil Taz still believe in Santa? I have no idea. If not I'm sure she'll do like I did and bleed this Santa stuff for as long as she can. Kids aren't stupid, they know a good thing when they see it.
Another thing...
Is it really necessary to put THREE of those white stickers that announce there is a theft proof device inside the dvd case? Those things are a real bitch to remove. Try explaining to a kid why the North Pole Walmart has to guard against theft. Are you feeling my pain here? Probably not.

Signed,
A thanks to YOU...broke parent