Raz-A-Ma-Taz

Friday, September 15, 2006

Maybe I'm just impatient... I ordered some way cool stuff from oldnavy.com on Tuesday and I haven't received my shipping notification email yet. I checked on my order yesterday and shipment was pending...dammit. WTF? I'm supposed to be their only customer. Their #1 priority. They're supposed to drop whatever they're doing and process MY order right now! At least that's what my customers think. ;o) Today I've tried checking and I can't get thru...double dog dammit. WTF? Are ALL God's chitlin's trying to check on their orders? Get the fuck off oldnavy.com and let ME check my stuff.
I want the golden goose and I want it NOW!

Friday, July 28, 2006

A "Tease" ShirtI found this on tshirthell and immediately thought of the guys on rs.com. You guys are so easily excited.

Lot's of the shirts are downright vulgar, some are disgusting to the point of piss off but..
some are funny like this one

I totally ened tihs one :o)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

I.Feel.Prickly.
and this is why...
I don't do whiney kids.
If the kid doesn't feel well and is whiney, I understand.

If the kid is just spoiled and is whining and 'uhhhnnntt uhhhnnntt-ing' or 'aaaaatttttt ahhhhhh attttttttttttt-ing' at the top of their lungs
I.can't.stand.it.

I'm at work, it is not a daycare, and that is what I'm dealing with at the moment.
That.is.all.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Blech!!!!
No wonder a lot of people who take Topamax lose weight...it makes food taste gross!!!! Well not ALL food ALL of the time but most food most of the time and you never know which foods and when. Fun, fun. There are 2 things I can count on to be OK all of the time and they are coffee and iced tea...2 points for the Topa peeps. Everything else is like buying a scratch off lotto ticket. It might be winner, it might go to whoever is with me or it might be a complete loss and go into the trash. What tastes good today, might not taste so good tomorrow...it's a real dining adventure.
The Death-Ray 2000
That's what we call this look that Puppy Taz gives me during her bath.
and as promised...her new dining swag from Old Navy. I really like the metal bowls because they keep her water very cool. Her old plastic ones, even though we added ice, wouldn't keep her water cool for very long. I had filled out an online survey so I received a 10% discount on my total puchase (a couple of new shirts, a new pair of capris for Lil Taz, a pair of new shorts and a pair of way cool camo capris for moi) so if you squint your eyes, tilt your head just right and use shoppers math I got both bowls and the cute puppy placement for free :o)

Friday, July 21, 2006

Friday Afternoon Stuff To Do Besides Working...
I think I'll do some of Budgyrl's quizzes

Quizzes for MySpace

Quizzes for MySpace

MySpace quizzes

Quizzes for MySpace

MySpace quizzes
So My MeMe Post Was Totally FUBAR'd..
I decided to do it in list form with a new twist, if it's an X and no comment I've left it out to save time/space. I was originally tagged by my friend Danimal.

I miss somebody right now. (My Pappy.)
I own lots of books.

I've tried marijuana. (young, dumb days of high school)

I've watched porn movies.
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (and I've never had a psycho-ex)
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (That's why I answered truthfully about the pot question.)

I curse sometimes. (like a sailor but never in front of Lil Taz. I get my hand slapped by her just for saying "Crap")
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.

I need/want money right now. (It sure would be nice to be debt-free)

× I love sushi. (I don't eat fish bait)
× I talk really fast. (I don't think I do.)
I have fresh breath in the morning.

I have long hair.
I have at least one sibling.

I have a hidden talent.(and one that's not hidden anymore...the cherry stem thing)
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. (I'm never still, ever)
× I have a lot of friends. (I have my circle and they are dear to me)

I have pecked someone of the same sex.
× I enjoy talking on the phone. (Hate it with a passion but in person, I will talk your ears off.)

I have a mobile phone.
I've rejected someone before.

I currently like/love someone.

I have changed a diaper before.

I have a lot to learn.

I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before

I own the "South Park" movie
I enjoy some country music

I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I am happy at this moment.

Republican.

I go for older guys/girls, not younger

I love my job(s).
I am comfortable with who I am right now.

I walk barefoot wherever I can. (love shoes, hate to wear them)
I have jumped off a bridge. (and a waterfall)
I love sea turtles


× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
(I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion)
I am proficient on a musical instrument. (I played horn, oboe and piano in school)

I have thrown up from crying too much.
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.

I fall for the worst people.
(I always had a thing for bad boys)
I adore bright colours.

I can pick up things with my toes.
(Mr. Taz says I have monkey toes)

I have ridden/owned a horse. (I used to have 3, Rowdy, Woodtick and Tequila)
I talk in my sleep. (and walk)

I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
I wear a toe ring.

I have a tattoo. (2 of them)
I am a caffeine junkie.

I'm an artist.
I am ambidextrous.

I have more friends on the internet than in real life.

I love hugs more than kisses.

I smoke.

Nobody has ever said I'm normal.
Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears ever now and then.
I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.

I have played strip poker with someone else before
I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.

I have at least one obsession at any given time.

I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.

I would rather read than watch TV
I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.

I like most animals better than most people.

The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.
I have hit someone with a dead fish.

I am compulsively honest.

I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. (It's the meds)

I dislike milk

I always carry something significant around with me. (sharktooth that I wear on my necklace)
I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.

I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.

I don't like to chew gum. (I swallow it and don't realize it until it's too late)

I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.

I've gone skinny-dipping.

I enjoy burritos

I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.

I download songs from the internet.
I say random things to freak people out.

Music helps me remember that I am not alone.
I think this survey is particularly long ::snore::

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Tonight's the Night...
Mr. Taz and I are going for 4th grade orientation. Yee-haw! Whoopie! Hoo-rah! I'm not being bocephus (Mr. Taz post-imbibing slang for facetious) I'm being serious. We look forward to meeting Lil Taz's new teacher, seeing her new classroom, finding out about what cool fieldtrips are planned and what's to be expected of her for the year. I just hope and pray there's a math cheat sheet for parents. ::crossing fingers:: If not, I may have to check into getting Lil Taz a tutor. Last year, math was a HUGE problem and as we all know it only gets tougher.
A week before school started we received our list of school supplies to buy. Back to school shopping is so much fun. We loved it. Woohoo a Wally World Safari
  • 2 dozen #2 Pencils
  • 2 packs of wide ruled notebook paper
  • 2-erasers 2? are you kidding me? (we got 6...I know my child)
  • 3-spiral bound notebooks
  • 1-3 ring binder
  • 1 pack of washable markers (The thin big kid kind. Not the fat little kid kind..there IS a difference yanno)
  • 1 box of crayons....love the smell of crayons
  • 1 backpack (recycle the LLBean from last year)
  • Gym shoes (Duh...no brainer! Do they honestly have to remind parents of this?)
Cool bean-os we are fini' with back to school shopping!

Uhhh no we aren't...she brought home another list.
  • Nix the 3 ring binder
  • She now needs 8 pocket folders with brads
  • pencil box
  • 5 book socks...wtf? a book sock? (we used brown paper bags and decorated them ourselves)

Anyhoo...Mr. Taz is really looking forward to tonight, he's heard that Mrs. S is one hot Teach that favors mini skirts and high heels. I can so seeing him volunteering to be the Room Dad this year. Since Lil Taz has martial arts class tonight and Mama Taz is taking her I think Mr. Taz & I might just go out for a little Mexican buffet after class. Who knows...he might get a little spicy on me later on tonight. Ole' :o)

Puppy Taz Ain't Happy...
and when Puppy Taz ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Last Saturday, Lil Taz and I took Puppy Taz to the vet. For those of you that don't know, Puppy Taz is a Pug. Pugs are cool little dogs, fun, fiesty, smart and can hold a grudge for days. Back to the vet visit. As you can see in the pic Puppy Taz is quite plump, matter o'fact she is 29#s plump. The vet says that for her build she should weight approx. 23#s so guess who has been put on a major diet...Ms. Plump Puppy Taz. and she ain't one bit happy about it. She fusses because she's not been getting any table scraps (I know we shouldn't have started it but we did) She is quite vocal about it. She 'talks'. It's like a whine/bark/cry thing that we call talking. She's been on Iam's Weight Control for a year but we've been giving her doggie treats like Scooby Snacks for good behavior and for doing her doggie biz outside but no more! From now on she gets healthy treats like baby carrots, raw green beans and rice cake bits (which she likes). She also scratches her dog bowl now because her rations have been cut down, per vet's orders. The problem with that, other than the sound of the constant scratching drives us crazy, is that her food bowl and water bowl set down in a wooden box type thing and her water ends up sloshing all over the tile floor in the kitchen. Water + tile floor = busted ass for whoever walks into the kitchen. I'm getting that problem taken care of Saturday. I'm heading to Old Navy to buy a couple of pairs of shorts for me (YAY!) and while I'm there I'm going to pick up a cute doggie placemat for her and 2 doggie bowls. I'll have to get a pic of her new dining spread once it's all set up fo'sho :o)

#1 problem was weight...we go back in a month to see how she's doing with that
#2 problem was that she has extremely small nostrils
#3 problem she may have an elongated soft palate. This one happens a lot in short muzzled dogs and she has the symptoms. I don't know how many times I've called the emergency vet in a panic because she's gone into one of her 'wharfing' fits.

Elongated soft palates are the most common airway obstruction in Pugs. The soft palate is an extention of the hard palate wich forms the roof of the mouth. The soft palate is supposed to act as a mobile flap to prevent food and water entering the nasal passages during swallowing. An elongated soft palate hangs in front of the airway or falls into the larynx during inhalation.

Affected Pugs will breathe rather noisely when exited. Pugs with elongated soft palates often sound like someone slurping the last of their soda throug a straw. They frequently gag in an attempt to clear their airway, bringing up foamy saliva while eating, drinking, or excited. Dogs with elongated soft palates may have "reverse sneeze" attacks where they appear to be in a great deal of distress caught in a spasm of breathing very rapidly and noisily during inhalation. A Pug can often be broken out of a "reverse sneeze" attack by rubbing its throat or blowing sharply on the nose to cause it to swallow and displace the soft palate. The harder the affected Pug breathes, the more turbulence causes the palate to swell and elongate even more over time.


Problems #2 & #3 can be corrected by surgery and UT Vet Hospital isn't too far from us, if we have to go that route. We're hoping that getting some of her tonnage off will help some of her problems if not...it's off to the bank we go for a loan because we're not going to stand by and watch her fight to breathe when we can do something about it. We can literally hear her breathing in the next room, she is that loud...and snoring...maaaaaan she can rock the house.

Speaking of surgery, you know what our vet told us? I just want to throttle people sometimes. Dr. S told us that some pug owners refuse to have their pugs nostrils opened up because it leaves a "small, pink scar". OMGosh! People are so freakin' vain even when it comes to their pets. I swear someone should staple those pug owners' noses shut....or maybe I should just send Ethel over and have her do the pillow thing.

So, I just got a "Chick Trip" Countdown Email from C...

Whoooooooohooooooooooooo!!
69 DAYS TILL
WE ARE LAYING ON A BEACH TOWEL
SLICK WITH OIL THAT SMELLS OF COCONUTS
SOAKIN' IN THE FLORIDA SUNSHINE
SIPPING ALCOHOL
GETTING A TAN
LISTENING TO THE WIND BLOW THROUGH THE PALM FRONDS
WATCHING THE GULLS DIVE INTO THE WATER AND
SMELLING THE SALT IN THE AIR AND
FEELING THE BREEZE ON OUR FACES
READING BOOKS ONE AFTER ANOTHER
BECAUSE WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER TO DO
THAN TO BE A TOTAL SLUG AND
WATCHING THE SUNSET OVER THE OCEAN OF THE GULF OF MEXICO
WATCHING FOR THE SMALL FLASH OF LIGHT
WHEN THE SUN FINALLY DIPS INTO THE WATER,
UNLESS IT'S A FLASH FROM THE CAMERA,
THEN YOU ARE STILL A DUMBASS.....
Ha, ha reaaaaaal freakin' funny. Let me explain this last part. We have some friends that live where we go in Florida and they were telling me about this freak of nature thing that happens during the sunset. (I can be so gullible it ain't even funny) I was told that if you really pay attention during the sunset you can see a flash of light right at the precise moment the sun touches the water. So C and I were watching the sunset with a bunch of other peeps and I was all jazzed up (besides being about level 2 gooed) about catching a glimpse of this flash of light. Matter o' fact, I had been talking about it all day. Give Taz a crazy subject add alcohol...you get lots of wacky conversation and some pretty far out theories. So the moment arrived when the sun hit the water and I saw 'the flash'! OMG! For real! I saw it!...C didn't. Why? you ask...because she had the camera up to her face taking pics of the beautiful sunset. The sunset flash phenomenon is caused by the flash of tourists' cameras...duh Taz.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Today is my Best Friend's Birthday!
Happy Birthday Candy :o) You caught up with me...for 1 month and 29 days.
Candy is not only my best friend...she's my blood sister. Yep, we did the cutting fingers, smooshing them together thing when we were in grade school. I don't remember her not being in my life...ever. I met her when I was 5 and she was 4 (almost 5) and we have been partners in crime ever since.
Mama Taz used to babysit her so she was at my house 9 hours a day - 5 days a week and we'd often have too.much.fun. Common sense will tell you that any time you put 2 kids together for any amount of time that there will be conflicts and believe me...there were conflicts but we always worked them out one way or another. Sometimes there were some major ass whuppings (and they didn't involve adults, if you catch my drift) C and I were both about the same size so we were on even ground :o) We had our "I hate your guts", "I'm not your friend anymore" days but as soon as her mom pulled into the driveway we were already coming up with a plan on how to convince our parents to let her spend the night/weekend. She almost always went on vacation with us to see my oldest brother in DE every summer...those were such fun trips.
We used to have marathon games of Monopoly and when we'd run out of play money we'd make more...yes, we were kiddy Monopoly money-feiters. We could sing the entire Grease soundtrack by heart...and still can. We could go rollerskating every time the doors were open at the rink and were hell on wheels. It's amazing that we didn't end up with any broken bones...I guess we owe that to the jackass skating cops that kept us in the Hot Wheels Jail for speed skating. We were skating jail regs and had to post bail $ a few times at a buck a pop. That wasn't chump change to 2 kids back in the 70's either. You could do a lot of damage at the snack bar with a buck.
Once we got into Jr. High we were divided....I went to one Jr. High and she went to 'the other' school. ::gasp:: Our schools were rivals! She started staying at home, which sucked but hey we were almost grown up and way too old for babysitters. We didn't get to see much of each other but we still hung out together when we could. Then highschool came. I had my friends (which were mostly bums) and she had hers but we still had each other :o) Then....she up and got married! ::thud::
Then...I met Mr. Taz
Then she had a kid
Then she had another kid
Then she got divorced
Then we both started college
Then we started carpooling...Then everything was A-OK and we were together every day!!!!!
Now she's an RN, a single mom of a fine young man who is a Marine and a wonderful young woman who kicks ass (even though she's a Jimmie Johnson fan) and is doing quite well for herself. She is The.Best.Friend.Ever.
We spend time together whenever we can, mostly it's just talking...we go to movies (whatever Lil Taz wants to go see), we swim and every year we go on our Annual Chick Trip which is a T-Total Blast-O-La!
I think everyone should have a "Candy" in their life...I sure am glad I do :o)